The gifts that keep on giving. In originality anyhow.

Somebody's birthday's coming up.

Not to mention Valentine's Day. Or perhaps you wanna give someone a token of appreciation.

Maybe you go to the mall. Find the same ol' same ol'. Blah. You're stumped. Till these gift ideas came along.

As if being required to stand x-distance from buildings weren't enough, smokers gotta stand in the pouring rain. Or they did. Until the smoker's umbrella appeared. It's got a clip-on ashtray and comes in a cool "cigarette" tin-box carrying case.

I loved biology in school. Seeing inside bodies rocks. Not everyone will share that enthusiasm. For them, there's the knitted frog. Pretend dissections without the barfing. Which is generally preferable when giving gifts. The frog detaches for cuddling.

Bad drivers abound. Until vehicles come equipped with ammo, these hand signs will suffice. The Hand attaches to the rear window; the seven hand signals are controlled by a remote device. It's recommended to pair this with a life-insurance plan for recipients in Los Angeles.

Jewelry. Ever the popular choice for women. And some men. Diamonds are passe. These are freeze-dried squirrel feet earrings. Probably not the best choice for the job interview. Or hardcore animal rights folks. Recipient has no piercings? No problemo. It's available as a necklace as well.

Last but not least, still nuthin'? Well, when you got nuthin', you give nuthin'. For real. Nothing.

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