First the rubber gloves, then the white gloves.

I wanna show you guys some things — common sights around the house — and provide an exercise.

Exercise – ain’t that the truth; we’ll get to that anon.

First, I want you to imagine wearing rubber gloves — yellow, pink, blue, lavender, the color of your choice — with a rag and spray bottle of cleaner in one hand and a stiff-bristle brush in the other, something small, slightly larger than a toothbrush.

Got it? Now to the pics and instructions.

Exercise 1

I want you to not only clean the window sills to a pristine sheen but with your spray cleaner soak the area around the latch and with the stiff brush remove every particle of dirt and dust. Switch the lever side to side and be sure to get inside and underneath on both sides now.

Exercise 2

Now I want you to clean the fridge and freezer. Of course you’ve already removed all its contents (i.e., foods) and removable parts (i.e., shelves) and scrubbed the latter and interior to a glistening white. Do not overlook the tiny cracks and crevices around the shelf bars, pictured here.

Pay close attention to crevices; these tend to get overlooked and collect gunky particles. Get inside each cell with your spray bottle, bristle brush and fingernail. Think brand-new fridge from Sears. Aspire. To steal from Nike, just do it.

Exercise 3

You recognize these, n’est pas?

However, when was the last time you lifted the flaps? Do it. Give ’em a good spray and scrub scrub scritch scritch with the bristles. Please.

Exercise 4

You wouldn’t be reading this blog without the help of electricity. So treat that light switch with reverence. Now, get that spray — not too much now! — into the top and undersides of the flippers. Some bristle action and dabbing with the corner of a rag and you’re done! Only when they’re entirely free of dust and dirt that is.

Don’t think you can get away with missing a beat. A bigwig will do spot checks with the white glove. Lazy asses and sloppy persons need not apply.

These four exercises don’t scratch the surface of tasks required in deep cleaning and making ready apartments for new residents at the assisted living facility (where I work). From climbing the ladder to remove and bleach-soak each light fixture to scrubbing baseboards beneath cupboards and behind refrigerators on hands and knees to brush-scrubbing right angles of inlay door designs, there is no rest for the weary. Or the bored.

It’s no exaggeration to say that when a resident assumes occupancy, every inch, every microscopic inch, of the space has been touched and cleaned by human hand.

I’m so over it!

Don’t misread. I’m what many call a neat freak. I see nothing freakish about this aspect of self so I don’t self-describe as one (except in relativity). I am definitely the queen of meticulous. I live and breathe for detail. I notice things that {ziiiiiip} fly right past the ears, eyes and brains of common man. Plus, my own exacting high standards of cleanliness are aligned with my employer’s.

That said, after doing a deep clean/make ready this past weekend, I’m not interested in continuing this line of work — though I’m damn good at it! — any longer for anyone other than my self in my own space.

Tending to the extraordinary minutiae was exhausting — as becomes all actions, repeated, that one has outgrown. With fatigued mind, body and spirit, I wondered how many people could do this work successfully, how many would WANT to and have the patience for it. I also thought about how much more positive to put this natural love of detail toward meaningful and purposeful work that is me that is working with words.

So there it is, guys, exercise complete. You may remove your gloves and return the cleaning supplies to their proper place, tidily if you will.

Speaking of exercise, quite the workout, isn’t it, scrubbing every conceivable inch of a space and inconceivable ones too, eh? So help yourself to chilled lemonade. I happen to like mine 2 parts lemonade, 1 part rye whiskey.

Red straw option. Ditto IV needle.

whiskey lemonade


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Karyn @ kloppenmum
    May 22, 2012 @ 16:08:32

    That does seem an extreme clean!


  2. longeyesamurai
    May 24, 2012 @ 19:14:11

    Doing it for one’s self is hard enough, I cringed thinking of having to do this doe someone’s else…


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