contemplation in the silence

It’s been too damn quiet ’round here.

+ + +

I try to write. Turn over topics like clods of dirt in a field of fertile soil. An important talk with the boss about problems at the workplace, in particular one chatterbox (male) worker who doesn’t shut up for hours when ensconced in his bevy of babes. The meaning of the 5 year that is 2012 in numerology. The beauty of a day lying in wait like a palette to be painted, a day of rest and enjoyable activities unrelated to work the job. Heck, the importance of bearing ever in mind the difference between job and work as I bend the bars of prison for freedom and purpose, restored.

I could write about washing dishes, pots and pans, flatware and innumerable containers of plastic and stainless steel.

Yet who on earth would listen? Who would read it through? Who would comment? Who would care?

I remember when Vox died. An extended lingering death long obvious to me; others were caught by surprise.

WP is a horse of another color. Many who migrated from Vox have ceased blogging; (no surprise, I saw it coming as well.)

I’ve long considered I’d be among the Blogger 99ers, enduring through the years (like the longtime unemployed), the attrition and changing cast of characters. Heck, I’ve been blogging since 2006. In a sphere where the lifespan of a personal blog apparently averages around three years, well, there ought to be awards for those still standing!

Now I’m really not so sure.

March March March. I keep hearing that word/those words inside and they aren’t orders from my father German and cruel.

The month of March. A change in the season. A turn in the soil, the foliage, the blooms and the light. I so anticipate spring in Colorado, not because it brings my birthday, though that’s nice as well, rather because it’ll be a spring legitimate and true and not lost in the gray cold overcast blanket permeating the four seasons in the Pacific Northwest.

So much I could write. Silent readers deplete me.

The importance of March intuited mystifies, excites, tickles like fingers under the puppy’s furry chin.

The story of Atticus. I’ve not written that either. Silence in readers depresses me.

Last (wo)man standing in the blogosphere: to what end? for what purpose?

Are there brighter times on the horizon? Absolutely, now that I’m in Colorado (and got the fucking hell outta WA). Absolutely.

Does that transfer to the blog?

Will it transfer to the blog? Does it transfer to the blog … does it transfer to the blog … d o e s i t t r a n s f e r t o t h e b l o g words on the wind floating . . . floated by the wind .


11 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. cruisekitten
    Jan 10, 2012 @ 10:29:45

    Glad to hear you are feeling the up turn of a new season coming.

    Sorry to hear that you are feeling unheard. I assure you, I read every word you deem to publish, though I am often not able to comment (ah the grace and damnedness of the internet accesing phone).

    I particularly enjoyed the Beatles reference previously read… Here’s hoping that light makes itself surely known to you.


  2. aubrey
    Jan 10, 2012 @ 15:35:36

    Ever since my job changed locations, I’ve been fearing Spring. I’ll no longer be witnessing all of its pastel awakenings. No birds, gardens or colors. My new commute is grey and unchanging; it’s a little churlish to complain, but I knew that you, my dear aka W.Baby would understand.


  3. fotografzahl
    Jan 10, 2012 @ 16:16:48

    We haven’t had a real winter (i.e. with snow and all) so far – pretty mild this time.
    (The two years before had been crazy though.)
    However, spring is still some time away, so maybe I am in for an surprise…

    I’ve been waiting for the Atticus story, but I thought perhaps you made up your mind in the meantime…


  4. Flamingo Dancer
    Jan 10, 2012 @ 17:31:25

    I have seen some bloggers go, others arrive. I think what has worked for me, is going out and commenting on new blogs, broadening my horizons. I think many who fell by the wayside had no real purpose for their blogging, and often only turned to it when they were depressed, and as soon as life improved they forgot about blogging. Of course Facebook etc has drawn the younger ones, who want fame and have short attention spans!

    What is it with German fathers and cruelty? I have a friend who had a German father and he drove her to mental breakdown. My greatparents on both sides were German and their cruelty has reverberated through the generations.

    What does the number 5 mean for us? You have me interested now.

    There are days when it is hard to think of something to blog, and that is ok. Be kind to yourself, and breath it all in and something always pops back in.


    • Flamingo Dancer
      Jan 10, 2012 @ 17:32:09

      greatparents… I meant great-grandparents of course


      • fotografzahl
        Jan 15, 2012 @ 09:35:37

        I thought the reason is quite obvious!
        Everybody knows that we Germans are all Nazis and have no sense of humor – at all!

        It’s the same with the dictator-moustache-rule:
        Hitler, Stalin, Hussein, and Franco had all a moustache!
        So we should learn that everybody with a moustache is a potential dictator. Life can be so easy – one must just understand its patterns! 😉


  5. katie
    Jan 10, 2012 @ 19:15:19

    Man, the mention of Vox always gets me a little teary;for the most part I enjoyed my time there;towards the end it wasn’t so great, but I have more good memories than bad of my time there.


  6. longeyesamurai
    Jan 11, 2012 @ 01:44:08

    As long as you decide that Marching on is the only solution…

    Seriously, I found myself filled with some ennui when my “real life” creeps out in my writings. It’s hard to write down stuff without seeming as venting nuclear fumes.

    Hope the job makes may for some meaningful work…


  7. lexiemom
    Jan 11, 2012 @ 21:19:48

    I’ve always felt that blogging was more for me than my readers (of which I have way too few). I like to blog, but don’t usually have the time, and ideas that are constantly rattling around in my head that I think of as good seed for future blog writing, seldom make it to fertile electronic soil. I just don’t have the time (or usually the energy) to put it to type so it stays in my head, and maybe that’s a good thing.


    • lauowolf
      Jan 15, 2012 @ 13:56:33

      What she said.
      I mean, I like it when something I’ve posted resounds with people.
      Which doesn’t happen very often.
      Le Sigh.
      I am not always as good at commenting as I might be.
      But I am lurking out here.


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