The Broncos’ crowning achievement is my crown’s disaster.

That’s the most expensive freebie caramel square ever stolen!

If you’re a regular reader, you already know that four days ago a gold crown popped off after I popped a Brach’s caramel square snagged from the supermarket’s bulk candies bin.

Moral of that story: Never shop with a sweet tooth! (Irony is that I wasn’t even there for food but to browse greeting cards!)

I’ve checked my records. This crown — on molar number 31, not to be confused with number 30, recently root-canaled, crowned for the second time and featured in the blog — isn’t that old.

It replaced its aged predecessor about six months after I’d arrived in Tacoma/Washingon.

Again, ironically because once again it needs to be replaced — six months after arriving in Denver!

Odds are that the cement had aged, making it susceptible to popping off. Shit happens. I’m walking living breathing proof.

For four days the crown rested unsecured on its base enamel. Because it was in good condition and intact, it was simply a matter of the dentist recementing it today.

Then things changed. Shit happens. I’m walking living breathing proof.

The Denver Broncos (football) may be blessed by the faithful Tim Tebow (quarterback). That blessing, however, doesn’t rub off on viewers.

While snacking during yesterday’s game, during which the Broncos smacked the Steelers in overtime, advancing them in the playoffs, the crown POP!ped off and landed – SMACK! – between two colliding sets of teeth.

Being that my powerful bite cracks open animal bones with ease (dentists throughout life have remarked on my strong bite), the crown’s fate was sealed. A piece along the edge (called the margin, for the dentally illiterate) broke off.

I’m no longer looking at resetting a gold crown just 5 years old (crowns can and should last up to 20 years) but replacing it.

To reiterate, six months into a new town. Same course, same fate, same tooth as in 2006. Never mind that this is the second crown less than six months in Denver!

The solution’s clear. Stop moving.

Or move with a golden nest egg earmarked: molars.

As for the Broncos, their {ahem} crowning achievement is my loss. And I’ve no one to blame but myself them. Had the Broncos not been playing, I’d never have had cause to ingest that tortilla chip.

I’ve got lawyers puttin’ the bite on the Broncos as we speak.

{hey, I’m gettin’ this new American mindset down!}


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. lexiemom
    Jan 09, 2012 @ 16:41:13

    It was Tebow’s fault. Forget the game, he should’ve prayed for your teeth!!!


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