There’s a residence in my future. For 10 minutes.

It’s not a done deal, likely won’t be until tomorrow, but it looks like I’ll be moving in a few days.

To place number 5 in four-and-a-half months.

More in a moment. First, spurred by another’s comment, I researched the landlord-tenant law in Colorado last night.

Turns out that my current house owner, Daniel, didn’t act in accordance with the law and I do in fact have legal recourse even without a lease — a situation defined as tenancy at will (so defined when there is no lease and/or a yearly lease has expired, reverting to month-to-month).

And Sherrol, the woman who changed the locks during the snowstorm, ABSOLUTELY violated the law. I could, if I chose, pursue (with assistance from legal services) but with so very much on my plate, I honestly have neither the time nor energy.

I’m not a litigious person. And I abhor the American litigious culture.

But I ought to become one! with this rash of selfish, thoughtless, inconsiderate, cruel and dangerous roommates!

If there’s a reason to love mankind, I need one – now!

Anyhow, my next probable residence comes with a caveat: It’s almost certain to be short-lived — around six weeks — due to her situations, unknowns and particular brand of chaos. (On these counts we are in harmony!)

So come December and January, I’ll again be seeking — correction, continuing to seek — new digs and continuing the lifestyle of living outta boxes to which I’ve become accustomed

I’ve given great thought and consideration to holding Daniel to the letter of the law in booting me out to move his brother in with nine days’ notice, half of which are effectively “wasted” by the 4-day Thanksgiving holiday, and by text message, which does not meet the legal standard.

I’m exhausted being battered and bashed and tossed around like a ragdoll by inconsiderate thoughtless selfish roommates.

However, there are also incentives and reasons to walk away and be done with this person of really bad behavior.

Tomorrow I’ll know whether I’ve got a new place to reside. For 10 minutes.

I’m offering this to my readers: Is your life dull, routine, predictable, rote, boxed-in, every day the same ol’ same ol’, every month the same surroundings and residence?

Come switch places with me for a spell. I’ll take your Boringness if you’ll take my Chaotic Upheavels. I guarantee a month in these moccasins’ll make your head spin.

Two months and you’ll wonder what was the name of that tornado/hurricane that swept through, uprooting your life and destroying your toothpick of stability.

Three months and you’ll be asking whether God exists.

Four months and you’ll be wondering about the cruelty and thoughtlessness of people and/or disappearance of kindness.

Five months in and words “stability” and “security” and “safety” will have lost meaning, poof!, gone, like black magic!

It’ll take all you’ve got to maintain your wits about you. Never mind wits. Sanity. All you believed to be true will be challenged to your core, possibly taken from you.

Your fundamental values will be so severely disrupted, if not stripped by forces greater than you, that you’ll be left a shell of your former self, a blubbering discombobulated blob of gelatin or, if you’re lucky to have survived, a realist with absolutely no illusion that you control life.

Life controls you. Your only recourse is to respond as best and as wisely as you can. Drink more. Pray less. Or more. Depending. And surrender ’cause despite YOUR very best intentions and efforts, others can and will destroy what you ardently strive to create.

And then there’s the Big Guy Upstairs. Is it all a cruel joke? Or is there purpose and meaning behind the shatterings, upheavals and dissolutions?

Who but those dead and gone can know for certain?

So how ’bout it, guys? I take your life of stability, sameness, sanity and safety. And you take this monkey – albeit it one adventurous – off my back.

I’m so certain that it’ll change your world that I’m offering a money-back guarantee. A few months and you won’t the same. So how ’bout it?! You need a break from routines? A good solid shakeup and dose of surprise after surprise after surprise? A life on the fly? I’m your holiday elf!

Makes a great Christmas gift too.

Just a thought …


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. lexiemom
    Nov 26, 2011 @ 20:56:46

    No thanks… and I’m afraid you won’t have any takers; you’ll have to keep your upheavals to yourself.


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