from barf to bon appetit!

If they held a cleaning competition at the Olympics, I’d be standing on that center podium, gold medal ribboned around my neck, tears streaming down my face while the American national anthem piped through the sound system.

Whether they’d be tears of joy or disgust is for you to find out …

I did it, folks.

I tackled the Beast of the Bachelor Pad suited up in thick yellow rubber gloves, jeans and old T-shirt. I went in with the spirit of a warrior armed with bucket, rags, cleansers and a courageous steely will. I went in where neither of two bachelor residents had ventured in quite … some … time.

It wasn’t quick. It wasn’t pretty.

Let’s see just how unpretty it wasn’t …

Yum!


How ‘bout a sundae with moldy sludge on top?

Could be meat. Or a misplaced body organ from the morgue circa 1997.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Who cares, that sell date’s five months ago.

To be sure that the source of the foul stench pervasive in the house isn’t a dead animal, I roll the refrigerator:

I’ve seen worse and clean up. No coins or dead critters, only this amusing item:

Sure, that’s why the house reeks! Nuthin’ that an air freshener can’t fix. It’s a guy thing solution.


I spray, soak scrub and/or soak in hot water every square microinch and removable part of fridge and freezer.

That puddle of brown gunk there at the bottom is sticky gooey hardened stuck-on syrup that requires mighty elbow crease and chiseling with a knife:

squeaky clean


From friggin’ foul to Fabuloso. Damn I’m good!

The throwaways veritably empty the fridge and fill a large kitchen Hefty bag.

Speaking of bags, remember this mystery bag from the post prior?

I dare to open it:

Bon Barf Appetit!

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Anonymous
    Nov 18, 2011 @ 15:26:43

    EEeeewwwww!!!
    Good job!!

    Reply

  2. katie
    Nov 19, 2011 @ 18:49:11

    It’s going to be a long time before I eat Cool Whip again(not that I’m a fan anyways-I prefer real whipped cream)

    Reply

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