mercurial madness

A mishmash in no particular order …

* Denver’s nothing if not dull. In some three short months, the topsy-turvy Unpredictable has nearly made up for five years of fatal stagnation in Tacoma/Washington.

* Have crossed paths with the Rampaging Roommate twice, both times briefly in the kitchen, since her mean email demanding that I move four days after I’d moved in (and, ironically, the morning after I’d unpacked, having procured boxes-for-dresser-and-shelves from Costco). I greeted her with a cheerful “good morning” for there’s no reason to be nasty. She beat that off with a stick quickly.

* I’ve eaten one meal in the two weeks of residing there. One. A bowl of rice with frozen vegetables and an egg. Sad and telling about the conditions at home. Sad when home is a place of such disrepair, unrest and hostility and through no fault, action, word or misdeed of your own. As sad is that the bullies generally rule. It’s the way of the world. I’ll never understand it or develop a skin thick enough to cope with the greatest of dexterity.

* Have you ever been so overwrought, too-long overtaxed and spent that you can’t remember your name or something you did or said 10 minutes earlier? That describes me in my last two posts, written at a cafe around 9 p.m. as my face was dropping onto the laptop. I typically resist temptations to delete posts that fail to meet my standards and instead let them stand as snapshots in time and space. It’s important to record the madness that is life currently.

* Sleep remains incredibly elusive. I never voiced it publicly but I experienced horrible and frequent (recurring) nightmares at the House of Wincing. They began about a week after I moved in, which I found noteworthy, and continued until I left. The nightmares have abated for the time being and have been largely replaced by passing out in sporadic spurts.

Lack of rest has a detrimental effect on body and psyche. This I know from experience as well as a dear friend who endured residency to become a doctor. It’s a wonder anyone can function on no or little sleep for extended periods. Longtime lack of sleep renders my thoughts in a foreign state of disjointed and dulled. I believe strongly in the power of and need for sleep. Don’t know when I’ll obtain any to any healthful measure! I still believe in its power and will continue to do so until I descend into hallucinations!

* Job stuff has picked up some rumble and roll. I don’t anticipate being long at my current job of housekeeping for the reason that the hours are insufficient (as few as 10 a week, up to 20-ish if you’re lucky) and unpredictable day to day, week to week.

* I’ve got a few irons of variety in the fire about which I shall remain mum. This is as much to keep my hopes dampened for when the job doesn’t come through, which is usually the case, as to avoid optimistic wishes from readers.

* Today was a sunny bright Sunday of about 78 degrees F. Predictions of our first snowfall come Tuesday evening are circulating. That’s the way it is in Denver: Sunny. Then a snow blast. Then sunny. Often within a matter of hours.

* Never a dull moment in Denver, like I said.

* My rampaging roommate wants me g-o-n-e; her presence is quite unpleasant really. Be that as it is, my move really hinders on my future employment. Denver’s huge and sprawling and it’d be silly, even stupid, to live Here and reside way over There, especially if the pay’s lousy. By the time you’ve paid for gas, there’s little left for rent.

Thus I’m trying to be both practical and patient without pushing my so-called luck with the rampager. In physicality, force and bossiness she reminds me a great deal of a former boss whose initials are VA. Those big girls seem to know how to throw their weight around. I was beat up by a big girl in around 7th grade. Girl named Gail. I still remember her vividly. Coincidentally, she too had auburn-red hair like that former boss and current roommate. I was a tiny thing so easily overcome by another’s size and temper. My scrappiness has been my means of survival and helped me endure some very tight spots.

* Being beaten doesn’t feel good; I imagine, however, it feels worse when there’s no fight left in ya.

Still, I don’t like being beaten and battered by the big girls, or the little ones. I’d rather battle with males; they fight more fairly even though they can whoop me by size alone.

* Oh yeah, two interviews tomorrow. Do not, I repeat do not, send good wishes. Just in no mood for superficialities. You’d be sick of ’em too after three years of unemployment and hearing the same thing over and over. Good wishes do not employment secure!

* My random thoughts have run out. Later, ladies ‘n’ gents.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. trayflow
    Oct 23, 2011 @ 23:21:15

    Thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way for everything to improve for you. You deserve a windfall of good things to happen!


  2. DJ
    Oct 23, 2011 @ 23:31:31

    Jesus Christ! Sounds like you need more than a paddle to get up that shit creek. 😦


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