to thine true self be true.

I did not take the interview.

That be the interview for a job in retail, $8 an hour, 40-minute drive minimum one way.

(An aside: ‘Twas a seasonal position to conclude after New Year’s — Happy Holidays to us, eh? ;D — potentially again leaving me stranded without work; after three years of that, nothankyou.)

Much soul-searching was done, many considerations weighed and factors evaluated in arriving at the decision.

One I will share is that if I’m to work another lame job (possibly a lame crap job*) in theory – in practice, it’s off the table – I can find something at the same (shitty) wage that’s 10 miles and 20 minutes away.

(*on the computer is a folder of resumes of jobs the past seven years that’s appropriately titled Lame Crap Jobs.)

That’s the thing about metro Denver. Individual communities and neighborhoods are splattered cross the region, each with its own shops and centers and strip malls.

There’s no reason to drive 1-1/2 hours for a job paying roughly minimum wage that returns more of the same hardship, poverty, lack and deep depression when — in theory — the same can be achieved 10 miles and 20 minutes away AND, due to the comparatively reduced fuel expenses, might leave pocket change enough for an occasional burger and brew.

So I leave the Park Meadows mall to the job-seekers across the county line in Lone Tree. Too damn far to drive for $8 an hour.

Dear Universe:

This is not the path for me. We know it. The path of cheap slave menial labor is done. We know it. It was never mine to begin with and never was intended to last as long as it did. I was only expressing and working through concepts and teachings brutally jammed down my throat or beaten in in childhood.

That path is done, the lessons learned, the teachings completed. It is so time to move on.

It is time for blessed and lighted living. An authentic path. The path that is of and for me.

Woe to he or she who tells me “a job is a job.” If one more person tries, even with good intentions, to steer me back onto the dark path of misery and inauthenticity with (a) any job is better than no job, (b) you gotta take whatever you can get in this economy or (c) words and actions that undermine heartful efforts to right my course, I will have to disregard all bad or unhelpful advice or suggestions, forgive and bless the person and be on my journey.

That is the Time and the Season we, you Universe and I, are in. This is a new chapter, a rebirth and a turn in the road so long worked toward (you know what was done and endured to get me here). The pages are blank and awaiting good words.

I am due for good fortune. I am done with hiding my light and being beaten and pushed about by bullies of lesser skills and intelligence and treated like crap for any job that keeps me in poverty, impoverished, doing without and unable to give (very) generously to others according to my nature and dreams.

It’s you and me, Universe. Lead the way upon the path and to the place that upholds and supports my integrity, dignity, untapped creativity and dreams.

$8 an hour with a long drive to boot ain’t gonna cut it. That is of the past. The now and the future are brighter.

Thank you for presenting me yesterday’s golden opportunity to probe and contemplate and choose – the path of the past, the old and the broken and the inauthentic or the path of promise, uplifting, lighted and of the true self.

I chose rightly and well.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Me – your faithful traveler and aspiring writer


To contemplatively and consciously choose not the Darkness but rather the Light is to allow Light into your life, even if but a little more.

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. trayflow
    Sep 08, 2011 @ 21:56:05

    I think you made the right choice. Surely if you will settle for $8/hour there will be something closer to home. Glad to see you are still here writing :). I did see your post the other day..blame it on me! I haven’t had a chance to reply to anything lately. I am spending most of my time with my Mom and the kids and she doesn’t have Internet access at home. I have to do my internet stuff at night when kids go to bed.


    • allycat
      Sep 09, 2011 @ 14:54:23

      @trayflow – No Internet access at mum’s home? That’d be torture, never mind the question of how does she manage?! – lol. In Tacoma, with virtually no job market, as one of the employed fortunates, you WOULD have to accept minimum wage 25 miles away. Fortunately, Denver has comparatively much more to offer so that you’re not left simultaneously employed and sleeping on the floor of the poorhouse. BTW, to iterate, $8/hour is NOT on the table. Returning to my career is.


  2. fotografzahl
    Sep 09, 2011 @ 05:18:25

    You did the right thing IMHO!
    You should not undersell yourself.
    Hope you’ll find a great job soon.


    • allycat
      Sep 09, 2011 @ 14:58:39

      @fotografzahl – Undersell myself? Ooooh, touchy subject and not helped by an economy where huge numbers searching for jobs are doing just that; likewise many of the employed, Be assured that when a great job is secured, you and the entire neighborhood and world and the universe will hear of it!!


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