Dr. Straitjacket: How I Came to Stop Contributing and Love Selfish Loafing.

After having fled full days away from the house, wading through deep depression and processing, I’ve arrived at a coping strategy and game plan for my stay in (now dubbed) the Straitjacket house.

The best solution, ironically, is contrary to my nature and true self.
I will not contribute to or be of service in the maintenance of the house (an inaction that is far more difficult than you can possibly imagine!).

Of note, I will refrain from vacccuming (inc. hauling the unit from the basement) and cleaning the floors (coincidentally the most arduous of home tasks and for which Marcy with her bad back could use the most help).

I will take Marcy at her word: My help and contributions before asking are presumptive and not helpful or wanted.

I will abide by the laws of the house according to Marcy.

If I do not, by human failing or lack of information, I will expect to be scolded; the more petty the offense, the sterner the reprimand.

I will undertake only the most minor and fewest of chores and only if I am certain that I am completing it in the manner prescribed and to perfection.

I will never ever leave anything “odd” on the kitchen counter unless its presence is evident (i.e., soup cooling); even then, it is best to attach a note to deflect complaint.

I will anticipate no room for expression of my finest qualities and good intent. These have drawn fire, before me and behind my back, and will continue to do so.

I will keep my room spotless and tidy, naturally; goes without saying.

On the occasion that I clean the tub/shared bathroom, I will do so without bringing it to Marcy’s attention to thwart criticisms or perceived challenges to control. If this amounts to “double duty,” so be it.

I will continue with backyard doggy poo pickup (with two dogs in the house, it can be done daily!) as no further fault can be found now that the proper trashcan has been identified.

I will expect to be watched at every turn.

I will hope for no positive input, expressions of appreciation, gratitude or valuing of my Light.

I will expect to be treated like a 5-year-old. And scolded like one.

I will endure being squelched and subject to admonishments and criticisms, behind my back or directly, and without fair cause or reason.

I will continue this bullshit and obedience to stultifying rules under constant watchfulness until such time that that I’m gainfully employed and have the means to move.

I will continue reaching for freedoms and improved finances. I did not shed my old life and travel 1,500 miles to be treated like a child behind bars.

Thus concludes my game plan, Dr. Straitjacket: How I Came to Stop Contributing and Love Selfish Loafing.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Flamingo Dancer
    Aug 12, 2011 @ 04:07:31

    I am so sorry … run, run like the wind.


    • allycatadventures
      Aug 12, 2011 @ 10:52:10

      @FD – “run, run like the wind.” Much as I’d like to! .. can’t. Lookin’ like year’s end as the earliest opportunity for the next move; until then, it’s grin and bear it … maybe not so much the grin. 😉


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