From the nebulus are things taking shape and form.
A Breeze of Promise
Today brought the sun and a light breeze, delivering a tickling lift beneath my weary wings, generating audible whispers of hope, optimism and the reminder that the end to this horrible dark chapter nears.
Logistics and financial concerns/constraints for the major move abound, occupying my attention. Options are being explored, paths considered, elements weighed. Of the many many moves made through my lifetime, including overseas (no easy task!), this one’s by far the hardest and toughest to pull off, for a multitude of reasons not for public airing, and the most necessary.
And it’s approaching simultaneously quickly and not quickly enough!
Home Sweet Home. NOT!
Every morning I awaken and the first thought is: Is the sun out today? Of course it usually isn’t. And when it is, like today, my heart sings in relief, my body exhausted hungers for warm rays.
My second immediate thought is: Where can I go to get away from this fucking apartment, so cold, dark and lifeless.
It wouldn’t be fair to say I hate my apartment; it is what it is, haunted, traumatized and damaged. Some places have bad juju and history. Mine has both in spades and more. More journal pages have been filled with intense emotional writings on that apartment than any of the huge number of places where I’ve hung my hat, however briefly.
Every day I dream of and fantasize that moment when I hand over the keys to the landlord and close that door for the LAST TIME. Such sweet anticipation.
Bye-Bye Borders Cafe
Speaking of last times, on a whim today I stopped in at my former cafe-bookstore hangout … and am glad I did so for I discovered that today’s its final day. In fact, I’m writing from there now.
Many many many hours have been spent here. I don’t feel terribly sad, mostly because by serendipity I’d already shifted my cafe hangout elsewhere. Still, the closure marks the end of an era. It’s one more death of the many that have already occurred in my Tacoma life; more await . The only tears to be shed will be of relief and joy at leaving.
That’s all for today.