a monsoon is a French gentleman

In need of a giggle?

Me too. Between the intense photographs, stories and reports coming from Japan and being fairly bedridden with a severe respiratory ailment-bronchitis, I know I could use a shot of levity.

So from innocentenglish.com, here are actual answers to science tests from students in junior high, high school and college. (Honestly, I’m torn between laughing and crying …)

When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire.

H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.

When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.

The pistol of a flower is its only protections against insects.

The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have ben taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.

The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Germinate: To become a naturalized German.

Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.

Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.

There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because of so much population stomping around up here these days.

Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees between freezing and boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and south.

Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.

Clouds are high flying fogs.

Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do.

Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man.

A monsoon is a French gentleman.

Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don’t why you should.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Karyn @ kloppenmum
    Mar 12, 2011 @ 23:15:33

    That was just the light relief I needed.
    Hope you’re feeling better soon. 🙂


  2. Doug
    Mar 13, 2011 @ 04:11:06

    The genetics remark is particularly apt.


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