Fame may find me yet!

I may be headed for my television debut. On America's Most Wanted.

What’s wrong with this picture?

Here, I’ll give you a hint:

That’s right. It’s fuckin’ summer and my winter window insulation film is still up!!!!

Do not for a moment think it’s because I’m too lazy to take it down. First, I'm not lazy. I'm possibly the hardest worker you'll ever know. I'd love nothing more than to rip that damn stuff off!!! It's July for God's sake! July!! And that film's been up since December!!

So why don't I?

I'll show you why. Have a look at the scene outside my window:




It's nearly noon and the temp's a damp 53.

In July!!!!!!

The only difference between now and seven months ago is the temperature. I swear, this constant gray and lack of light are enough to turn even a saint into a homicidal postal worker.

Don't believe me? Or don't get it? Then I offer you a challenge. Come live along Washington state's coast. You must stay a year minimum. You must remain in the area. You may not book flights to Hawaii or any place where the sun shines beyond a day.

You must live:

where layers aren't your cakes but your clothing;

where you never leave home without a jacket;

where breakfast is a cup of coffee and an antidepressant.

Sunglasses?! What are those?! Oh yeah, objects people put on their faces when the sun’s bright.

Complaints about hot and humid weather, I get that. I've lived in hot and humid. It's terrible. But those people have something we don't: Sun.

So there will be no complaining about it on my blog.

Scorching desert temps that turn skin to leather. I get those too. I've lived there as well. And as a waterbaby, I was absolutely miserable. It's unholy to live in an element so far from one's nature.

If forced to choose between Scalding Dry Desert and Constant Sunless Gray Existence, I'd have to respond neither! Or shoot me now.   

Speaking of shooting, I'm going certifiably mad in this fucking day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day of gray where sunshine stays as long as a fleet-footed thief. It's suffocating. Depleting. Unhealthy. The body is not designed for lack of light. America's Most Wanted, here I come.

Never mind who done it and was it Mr. Mustard with the wrench in the library.

It was Mr. Gray with the clouds in western Washington.

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