Dr. Scholl on steroids

Here’s a surefire trick to add 50 years to your age: Shop for shoe inserts.

I don’t mean the orthopedic sorts, I mean the plain ol’ basic run-of-the-mill insoles to replace worn ones.

Or the paper-thin cheapos because the shoes were made in China, as was my case.

Here are my shoes. I bought them some time ago at Ross for 20 or 25 bucks:

 

They’re an adequate shoe whose best features are the pink laces and water-repellant leather, an asset if not necessity in this wet climate.

However, the outer soles are thick and like lead, while the inside cushioning measures .0002 inches in thickness, give or take .0001 inch. I walk a lot and the emergence of knee problems led me to suspect the shoes.

So where better to go than Walgreens, the consummate drugstore abundant with all things helpful to the gerontology circle public. In perusing the insoles, I nearly keeled over.

There were certainly plenty from which to pick! Men’s insoles and women’s insoles. Gel insoles, air-cushion insoles, full insoles and partial insoles. Insoles for boots, insoles for heels. Insoles for those suffering knee pain – depicted by red lightning bolts around the kneecap that looked pretty painful – and insoles for those desiring cooling relief.

Yet not one package was below 8 bucks!

Some were as much as $15! That's nearly what I paid for my shoes! Heck, that's even the price for a new pair!

Clearly the last time I bought insoles was in the last century because I had it in my mind that they were around 3 bucks. So I studied near every damn package wondering how anyone can afford 'em and would the free newspapers at home work as an alternative.

Defeated, I returned home with aching knees and empty hands. Then, resourceful girl that I am, a brilliant idea struck. I dug deep into my Doc Marten boots, extracted the insoles bought like eight years ago when they were 3 bucks, and inserted them into current footwear. Problem kinda sorta solved, according to wallet and knees. Way I see it is that insoles that old with even a wee bit of padding can't be anything but Dr. Scholl on steroids.

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