beggin’ for bacon

Bacon. For some, it's a great love affair.

For others, it's an opportunity to don the thinking cap and cash in on a passion. Filling your day with some piggy product or other from morn to midnight is a piece o' cake. Don't believe? Take the tour.

Wake up on a dreamy pillow:

Stumble into the bathroom …

Wash up:

Brush 'n' floss:

Nick a finger slicing tomatoes for that Western omelette or lunchtime BLT?

Headin' out to a job? The unemployment office? Errands? Cover yourself in it:

Okay, the porkpie's silly fun and a cheap attempt to see whether you're payin' attention.

Carry it:

Bring it to your workstation or personal desktop. No reason to suffer that cold impersonal look of technology any longer:

Get others involved. Let them know how much you care with a gift. Let them know how much you care about bacon by wrapping it in:

Gotta pick up the kids after school? File for unemployment at the office? Don't be afraid to leave your home. The sizzlin' scent can go with you. Bring the ax down on those tacky piney fresheners hanging in the car:

When it comes to bacon, we're talkin' aroma. Talkin' flavor. Talkin' stomachs. Plunge into the gastronomical delight of this battered delight. (For this girl, only thing more battered than the bacon would be her palate):

Let's get real. That's for wimps. So man up and bake up the Bacon Explosion. Recipe's so simple, even a novice could pull it off like a pro, especially with this handy-dandy pictorial guide:

Bacon Explosion

2 pounds bacon
2 pounds sausage. Preferably Italian but hell at this point does it matter?
1 jar of BBQ sauce

1. Weave bacon through and around sausage into the shape of a fat-laden torpedo.
2. Slather in BBQ sauce.
3. Cook in a smoker for a couple hours.
4. Remove. Let rest. Slice and serve. Punching in 911 is optional.

Head exploding just from the concept? Imagine the arteries. No time to cook up a leaden loaf? No problem-o. Flavor's captured in a jar:

Now what's dinner without dessert? And Mo’s chocolate provides:

{from the Web site} Breathe … engage your five senses, close your eyes and inhale deeply. Be in the present moment, notice the color of the chocolate, the glossy shine. Rub your thumb over the chocolate bar to release the aromas of smoked applewood bacon flirting with deep milk chocolate. Snap off just a tiny piece and place it in your mouth, let the lust of salt and sweet coat your tongue.

For a sec I thought I was being taken away in a Calgon moment.

What better close to a fine meal than:

and mint, anyone?

Your day's been filled with the b-word. Night is fallen. Dim the lights.

Time to undress for slumber. Or romance. We’re not even gonna ask.

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