I only look like a harlot today

If you think my winking's a come-on to you, I assure you, it's the furtherest thing from my mind.

Last night I did something, hell if I know what, that evidently scratched my left eyeball.

You know that sensation of something caught in your eye like heavy dust particles or sand? Or, if you wear contacts, a lens gets folded and smushed high up there? And it's a bitch to detect and extract.

I'd hope it'd heal itself overnight. Not to be. I've scoped out the entire eyeball under a bright light in a mirror. Nuthin'. Flooded the eye with water several times. Zippo. Lifted the upper lid over the lower. Useless.

So I'm goin' around in a perpetual wink. Or tryin' to. It's actually quite painful. Every blink only irritates horribly. But I can't very well stop blinking or go around with one finger holding the lid closed all day or glue it shut now can I?

And a patch won't do because it leaves one eye looking through a pair of glasses whose prescription is way outdated and incorrect and blurs the world. Not that that's a bad thing, unless you're driving or typing or engaged in activity requiring accurate visual acuity.

So yeah, I'm livin' it but I ain't lovin' it. And I most definitely am not coming on to you. But I might, if you can make this pain and constant irritation go away.

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