smokin’ pics, man! (p.s. no babes involved)

There’s smokin’ bods. Smokin’ babes. Smokin’ cars.

Then there’s the smokin’ apartment.

Longtime readers may recall the story about the fridge I cleaned that was extracted from the adobe of a resident who smoked his pipe from noon to night in his little apartment.

The fridge that used to be white is now a hue of light orange-yellow — permanently. I plunged into that fridge wanting to don a gas mask for the fumes and a chisel for the thick, thick coating of orangey sticky slicky oils.

If the fridge looked like that, and after only a year or two of him residing there, what did his lungs look like?

The same question popped into my mind yesterday.

The Smoker’s Apartment, as it’s known now amongst the crew, is one of the eight units under total transformation.

And my mission: To remove the buildup of pipe resins from the windows, their white frames and the patio screen door.

You ever been in a dilipidated house where dust, dirt, moisture, fumes and whatever else lurks there condenses onto the windows, obscuring visibibility and creating this cloudy eerie effect ideal for a horror flick?

That’s the Smoker’s Windows.

So with buckets of hot water and lots-o-bleach, a scrubby sponge and a spatula for reaching the frames’ tiniest nooks and crannies, I tackled the gunky gooey buildup. After a coupla days of hardcore elbow greasing — ewwwwww — the light at the end of the tunnel returned!

And the outdoor light too.

Still can’t picture slicky greasy pipe oils clinging to every surface? Then let these pics do the talking. Then imagine the poor guy’s lungs.

See the blotches of buildup? On the frame and inside the mesh squares?

I thought about signing my name. Then thought twice.

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