Dial M for Mylord this Phone Sucks!

The return of the ex-employee’s phone means not only closure for my employer but replacement of my phone that took an unexpected dive into a certain watery bathroom receptacle 'bout a month ago.

A weekend attempting to save the dead phone by setting it near a lamp, on a window ledge, inside a bag of rice not only ruined my birthday but was met with only partial success. Power was restored eventually; calls can be made and received.

But the ring, even at full volume, sounds like a mouse squeaking its final breath.

And I've missed calls and messages because the screen is shot. Resembles an old black-and-white TV on a bad blitz.

All colors are vanished of course. I can make out screen letters barely and ONLY when the phone's held at precisely a 37-degree angle. Indoors. Under a very specific lighting. And if I squint super hard.

Otherwise, the screen's black and useless. People think I'm not patient but that's incorrect. True, I'm impatient with stupidities and other stuff that I'm in no mood to delineate but I've stuck it out with with a barely functioning phone with much patience and minimal complaint.

This week it's anticipated it'll be replaced so the screen will no longer look like this:

but this:


squished, of course, into a 1-by-1 inch square.

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