Run, don’t walk, to the emergency room

Luxury to me is a hot bath and a trashy celebrity magazine. They're favorites for vegging out, forgetting my cares and cheap entertainment.

Before you go pooh-poohing these rags, take a gander at what's in one latest edition. Once you do, you'll be buying me subscriptions to keep you abreast of these fascinating yarns spun from Hollywood bedrooms to Bondi Beach.

This race called the Stiletto Run was held in Holland. In its third year and sponsored by Glamour magazine, the race drew some 4,000-plus female applicants, a list whittled down to 150 finalists through qualifying rounds.

The terms: Dash 350 yards along Amsterdam's famous shopping street in heels a minimum of 3-1/2 inches high and no wider than approximately 1/2 inch.

The goal: Cross the finish line first for some $12,000 to be used for shopping — hence the race motto, "Shopping Is a Sport." (I wouldn't know unless beelines to the nearest exit doors are counted.)

There's plenty of pushing, shoving and elbowing at the onset — not hard to believe if you've ever observed females at the discount racks and tables. (Do men behave this way at sales? No they do not!)

The 25-year-old gal who walked, or possibly limped, away with the prize said the one thing she wouldn't be buying: high heels.

Me, I'd be applying it directly to the bill for the ambulance ride.

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